May 2014 Newsletter
On this day, 4th May 40 years ago my husband Peter and I were
married. So right now this is the subject uppermost in my mind.
If you go to my Facebook
page you will see a picture of these daffodils. A week or so
ago there was snow, but it came and went quite quickly. Now what
have daffodils and weather and snow to do with marriage?
The thing to know about upsets and obstacles to a good marriage
is that if you have put enough create into your marriage, the
setbacks are always short-lived.
After 40 years of being married I would like to share my
successful marriage actions:
- Marriage doesn’t come naturally – it has to be created. Life
is always there to dish up temptations and distractions; ignore
these. Like the daffodils a good marriage takes ugly weather in
The key ability to a successful marriage is the ability to
persist – to wake up each morning and consciously make the
decision to create your marriage. The problem with most
marriages is that it ends each night after making love. The
marriage has to be rebuilt every morning before breakfast again.
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times,
always with the same person.
- Secondly there is the ability to please your mate. I
have a good friend getting married for the third time; he is
successful and good looking, so getting women has not been his
problem, yet his first two marriages failed. This time though, I
am confident he has it right. His fiancé is attractive but that
is not her outstanding attribute – she calls herself a pleaser,
and I watch and learn from her for that is truly what she is. I
am confident that my friend and his new wife will grow old
happily together and she will bring him his pipe and slippers
when his hair (if he has any) will be gray. I trust we will be
there as friends, for like him, I have come to love her.
I’ll share a secret, something that I do before I go to sleep at
night, I figure on what I can do to please Peter in the next
day. Works like a charm to handle insomnia. Also handles any
upsets I have with him. Victor Hugo said “What a grand thing it
is to be loved! But what a grander thing it is to love.”
If there have been upsets I also look at gratitude. Bringing
gratitude into my life serves to put things in perspective.
- In these hard times looking to the future, a better future
together is helping to get us through. When we take off during
the week to do our shows I will often say to Peter “Okay what is
the next thing to look forward to?” Usually it is something
little and silly but a shared delight.
Like on Monday we have planned to celebrate this 40 year
milestone by going in to Pollo Loco and enjoying a FLAN. It will
be our lunch en route to LA upgraded from the usual
Jack-in-the-Box. Lovely Pollo Loco there in Santa Clarita –
great views. But we both know that their FLAN is to die for and
that is why we shall go there.
Can we afford a big party? Not this year? Looking to the future,
though, we are already mocking up a big party for our fiftieth
anniversary. In ten years time who knows but that the bills will
be paid down and we will be flush again.
What does marriage mean? It is about being connected, planning
to be together and sharing and mocking up a good future
- Is it worthwhile to create a lasting marriage? You bet it is.
Some may say it’s boring but it has not been like that for us;
it has been a true adventure.
Having a kind man at my side as I grow older, I find this a true
Benjamin Franklin once said, “A man has not nearly the value he
has alone as he has in the state of a good union. He resembles
the odd part of a pair of scissors.” The same could be said of a
good woman. Benjamin Franklin, you are so right, it is all about
a true sense of completeness.
Quote for the Month
Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths.
No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they
have been married a quarter of a century. - Mark Twain
Here is a wedding story you may enjoy which shows what we can do
for you with our photo-to artwork.
A couple was celebrating a wedding anniversary and brought in
their picture. "Picture Lady," said the bride, "we were as poor
as church mice when we got married!"
There was a photograph in a pretty park, and they were wearing
pretty, pretty clothes but, there was this ugly, ugly truck
right behind the bride.
"We took out the truck," says Picture Lady, "and gave them
perfect wedding pictures, twenty years after the fact!"
They are still together and they truly deserve the set of perfect
wedding pictures that we gave them.
We can do this for you and remember, the photo work is free!
We charge only for the framing and the Artex.
More stories on our web
Until next month!
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